05 May 2009

the light at the end of the tunnel

Recently quite a few people have asked about the Liberian family that we're helping to resettle and why I haven't blogged about how it's going. As I've considered the question, I've realized that it's simply because the experience has has been too difficult to talk about. I wouldn't even know where to start without sounding extremely discouraged and maddeningly frustrated all the time. We knew we were making a tremendously demanding commitment. We just never dreamed how complicated it would be. In addition to all the expected stresses of a family of 10 that was completely uprooted and starting over in a new country, this family has surprised us with some added complications. Our team has worked hard and been very supportive, but it's just been too much. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. The worst part is that I've really lost my love and compassion for these people, which is not like me. They've been through some terrible stuff, and I no longer have the heart to care. I hate that. Our 4 month commitment is over in 5 weeks. We have significant concern about whether the family will be ready to stand on their own at that point, but I know that I need to be done. I can only pray that we have done everything we can to set them up for success and that there will be others who continue to surround them with love and support.


Jamie said...

Oh, Becky! You still care, way deep down in your heart, you do! That's just who you are. Once you get some distance from the situation, maybe you will see. I bet you gave your all and just don't have any more to give. That's ok. It does sound like it is nearing the time for you to let go. Hang in there! I will keep you all in my prayers.

C and C said...

That must be so hard when you really had really wanted to help and it had seemed like it was for a good cause.